The New Year. Honestly.


I have to be honest: I'm not feeling that New Year bolt of energy I think I'm supposed to feel. Diving back into life after two weeks away from my studio has been a challenge. And to be even more honest, the two weeks away with my family was maybe an even bigger challenge.

While I was supposed to be relaxing and enjoying the holidays, I felt (and saw) my to-do list growing. I didn't finish some of my projects that I intended to finish before the break, and deadlines had to be met. I felt a lot of guilt for having to work and for thinking about my business so much "on vacation," and then I felt guilt for not feeling refreshed and renewed like everyone else seemed to be feeling in the new year. (Yeah, I fell into the comparison trap.) Why wasn't I able to do it all?? Why didn't I have my "word for the year" or a list of resolutions or a Whole 30 diet started? It was hanging over my head and putting me in a bad mood from January 1st until... well, yesterday.

Then I had this thought, and maybe you can relate: Maybe January 1st isn't MY new year. Maybe it's just A new year and I don't have to feel pressure to make resolutions, sweeping changes, new goals, or - frankly - do anything differently. This time of year is not truly a time of rest or renewal for me. I have other slower times during the year, but this isn't one. The holiday season is usually crazy busy for work and personal reasons, with a lot of the work seeping into January too. My older son's birthday is December 31st, so I am planning birthday celebrations around the same time as holiday chaos and, oftentimes, travel too.

To all on the Gregorian Calendar, Happy New Year! A day that's not astronomically any way…at all…whatsoever.
~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

If I'm being really honest with the flow of my year, my fresh start often comes around back to school time. Now that I have kids in school full-time, their schedule is pretty consistent from September through May, and then sort of resets for the summer and again when we head back to school. I also have some pretty huge stuff happening in May this year, so perhaps I'll take a short breather in June. Who knows. My point is that I'm trying to give myself grace for not leaping into 2018 feeling renewed and refreshed, with a fancy list of resolutions and goals. I'm going to give myself permission to keep moving, full speed ahead, until a natural ebb (or is it flow) happens in my world.

After a few days of catching up, a much-needed coffee date with my favorite female entrepreneurs, a couple of good workouts, and maaaaaaybe a little help from a new hot pink sweater (featured heavily in my Instagram stories), I'm feeling much better and much more in control of my time and energy.

Hope your January is sailing by smoothly. Please share if you have had similar experiences with new year's resolutions or other challenges like this, I'd love to know that I'm not alone.